How to deal

If you ever feel scared at home, talk to an adult you trust.
If anyone is in danger, call 000 and ask for the police.
All kids feel awful if there is violence or abuse in their family, even if it’s not physical and even if happening to someone else.


Sadly, a lot of kids have had violence happen in their family.
It can help to know what other people have done, here are some stories from people who grew up with family violence.


You can’t change what adults do, but you can find someone to talk to and go through this website together with them or call a phone service (like Kids Helpline 1800 55 1800).


If there is violence or abuse going on in your family, it can affect the way you feel – which affects the way you act.

These feelings can stop you from sleeping, make your stomach sick, give you headaches, make you feel tired, confused, it can make you get angry and lash out.

It can stop you from doing well in class, or doing your homework. It can make you have lots of fights with other people.

These tools can help you manage those feelings. And any time you feel bad, always remember:

Family violence is not your fault

Even if your parents are fighting about you or you didn’t clean your room or did something wrong

Family violence is not okay

Adults have many ways to solve their problems – violence or abuse should never be one of them.

You have a right to be safe

Don’t get in the middle of a fight. The best thing to do is call someone to help.

Your feelings are normal

It is okay to love the abusive parent but not their behaviour. It’s normal to feel a mix of different feelings at once.


The violence is not your fault, but it still makes you feel bad. Did you know there are things you can do to manage your feelings?

This toolbox is filled with ideas to try with your mum or a trusted adult.